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A tiny invisible drop in this magnificent universe!

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Aditi's & Anirudh's dialogues

At almost 11 (in Dec on one night): We were watching an interview with the Sadguru (Jaggi Vasudev) at the University of Toronto. Deep conversations about a lot of heavy topics and subjects was happening. One person asked about how to be centered when in love and when it feels like one's happiness is tied to the love interest. to which Sadguru answered, happiness is an internal/ inward thing and should not be/ is not connected to something external. if we know/ learn how to be happy/ contented/ joyful whatever / irrespective of the external factors. If we do that, then love or anything will come to us naturally; without the need for us to want something and go looking for it desperately.   We will be wanted by others. People will come to us all by themselves. So it is important for us to love ourselves and be happy internally (without attaching anything external for us to be happy). We should be able to to be wanted. To all this discourse my girl, Aditi, at almost 11 years of age (yes, my kids like to watch things with us - so we need to be extra careful about what kind of things we are watching), in a low & unassuming voice blurts out "we should make 'WANTED' posters of ourselves and stick them all around the town.". We all had a good laugh.


At 4:

Nenu: Idi na illu nenu cheppina mata vinakapothe vellipo neeku nachchina chotiki

Ani: Idi na illu nuvve vellipo


Anirudh doing something and I come out to check on him

Ani: nuvvu velli nee pani choosko ginnelu tomuko


At 4 yr 6 months:

At Aditi's school honor rolls ceremony:

Nenu: claps kottu Akka ki
Ani: Nenu kottanu nannu pilavale kada naku iyyatle kada


At 4 yr 8 months:

Srilatha, our Miami neighbor had a picture of flowers of a plant of theirs for the DP on WhatsApp. When she called me, Anirudh said "Amma, flower phone chestundi".

Another lady who had moved from NJ to Miami had a picture of the night view of the city of Miami from her balcony (their apartment was the same as ours but on a lower floor). When she called me after we had moved from Miami to NJ regarding our move-out-sale-stuff, Anirudh said "Amma, night call chestundi".


At 4 yr 8 months:

When I asked him to repeat the spellings of numbers (1 & 2) that I had taught him about 2-3 weeks ago, he couldn't remember and said

"Nenu marchipole Amma avve nannu marchipoyayi"

5 yrs:

After our move from Miami to NJ, I did not have a smaller vessel in which to make ghee. I had made pappu / daal for lunch (dinner?) and Anirudh being a big fan of ghee asked me for it. When I said there wasn't any ready at home he said to me "pappu lo neyyi andaru vestaru nuvvu tappa".


5 yrs:

For the Telugu padyam ‘uppu kappurambu’,  he was recollecting one day asking me “Amma, what was it, UPPU PACHCHIKARAM?”


5 yrs:

One day,  Jan 03 of 2019,  when Advaith started school, my father had asked Anirudh to write the alphabet letters and show to him to which he replied to him saying “kani ma intlo plain papers levu”.


5 yrs 3 months:

It was Jan (24th) of 2019 in the U.S. (New Jersey). It was winter, of course. We had bought him a pair of spider man’s cozy winter slippers for wearing at home (indoors). He had misplaced one from the pair somewhere and we were all searching for it for about a week now. On that particular day I was very insistent that he find it the same day. Being the lazy bones that he is (just like his mom - yep, that’s me), he went like “meeru second di konaledu anduke ledu”. All of us went off “hahaha”.
And did I stop after that? I said “konakapothe mari monna varaku intlo veskunnav kada ra. Vatiki kallu vachci vatanthata ave naduchukuntu poyaya emaina?”. He replied “haan ave naduchukuntu poyayi.”

Same day, I was in the kitchen and making some conversation with him while wiping off his mouth clean after dinner, I asked him why he had stolen my job away and my life away. To which he said, “memandaram nee life enduku teeskunnam ante maku life ledu kabatti”. Who tells him such witty answers?


5 yrs 4 months:

It was still winter. Feb 16th of 2019. Chaitanya had come to NJ the day before to Raghu’s place. All of them visited with us on 16th so all of us could be together. The next day, the 17th, when they were all getting ready to go back to Raghu’s place (airport closer to Raghu’s place - Chaitanya had to catch an early flight back to Orlando?, FL), Anirudh was like “Sahana school and uncle valla offices ikkade kattukovachchu”. He did not want them to leave. “Mari avanni kattadaniki dabbulu ekkadivi manaki?” Him - “Nanna daily office ki velte dabbulu vastayi kada vatitho kattukundam.” Have to give up arguing with him :)


6 and a 1/2 yrs:

In April of 2020, when it had been over a month of lockdown and stay-at-home due to COVID-19 pandemic and also being a Sunday (26th of April), after their BalVihar class, we were all feeling drowsy and sleepy. We adults wanted to take a quick power nap but the kids wouldn’t comply. I was struggling with Anirudh to make him sleep for a little bit. He started wailing as usual in protest. I asked him why he is crying so much and if he has something to lose to which he says ‘YES’ and when I ask him what it is, without a hint of hesitation he says ‘I forget things if I sleep’. 🤣🤣

6yrs and 10 mos:

Aug of 2020. One evening, the kids and hubby went outside for playtime. Lots of mosquitoes and a lot of mosquito bites on all of them. Shortly after, both the kids had their yearly wellness check-ups and immunizations appointment. That same night, Anirudh said if we have to get any blood tests done for me, they better ask the mosquitoes for my blood so they won’t have to draw my blood. At the doctor’s office, the doc suggested that we should get the thyroid check-up (blood work) done, as expected. To which we told her what he had said and we all had a good laugh.

6yrs and 11 mos:

Sep 28th 2020. At the dining table at dinner time. Anirudh is diagonally turned to face his food plate and TV, with almost all of his right arm (till above the elbow) on the table. His posture like always irritating to me (conveniently seated to spill much food on the table, talk away the time and eat as slow as possible) when I in an annoyed tone tell Kishore to look at his posture - upper body almost ON the table and lower body only on his chair. To which Anirudh retorts - “No one has two bodies, i.e. upper body and lower body. Everyone has only one body”. 🤣🤣 witty and cheeky little rascal. 

7 years:

Families never end. Me, my dad, his dad, his dad, his dad...... like that it goes on. When I don’t marry and have kids - that’s when it ends. 😳


On Navarathri day 2/3:

Kishore played some devotional songs by STRUMM entertainment channel on TV. The first song playing was by 
Sadhana Sargam. When Anirudh asked who the singer was I wrongly identified as Anuradha Poudwal may be and said I am not sure. Then I looked at the TV screen for the singer’s name. It said Sadhana Sargam and I read it out to him. Then he said “Akka aa song padutundi kada...” a little pause for remembering the song “Mukunda Mukunda...., aa song padina singer e kada...” 😳

Thanksgiving of 2020 (amid a global pandemic - COVID)

Anirudh's class teacher had given them all an assignment about 'Family Traditions'. With Thanksgiving and Diwali around the corner, I thought most desi parents would want their kids to write and talk about Diwali, which is why I sat Anirudh down and explained to him all the joyful ways in which Sankranthi is celebrated in many different regions of India with different names. We decided to write about it. After we were done with it and on the day of his presenting it in class before all of his classmates, the cheeky rascal took his sweet revenge on his teacher. Till that point in time, his teacher wasn't giving him turns enough times even though he kept his hand raised in daily classes (as per him). So that day, at the end of his presentation, even though his class teacher kept her hand up for questions, he did not give her a turn for asking her questions 😳😂😂😂

Do not remember what his age was:

It was definitely in NJ. I kept on watching one horror movie after another (mostly binge watching and keeping myself sleep deprived). Out of nowhere Anirudh says, “Why do you keep on watching such horror movies and stuff. You will become the ghost.” 😳🤣 🤣







Sunday, April 5, 2020

Unspoken and Unheard!

So many emotions and feelings unspoken in words.
‘Coz they cannot find a voice - it was and for most part it still is a muted one.
So they are locked up in my head and fighting each other for space.
Strangulating, smothering and suffocating each other.
If ever the voice gets unmuted, the very few that escape out are unheard or misunderstood.
The ones that do escape, do not quite make the cut to be of value.
So I am in an eternal state of confusion of what to say and what not to say.
In the fight / dilemma, the feeling or emotion gets lost into oblivion.
Is it my inability to give those emotions/ feelings a voice that they much need?
Or is it that there are very few people in the world, who can really look into the depths of complex human minds like mine with patience and empathy, that the voice that is mostly muted finds itself and does not quiver?