I have to try!

I know I am ordinary.

I don’t know if I can become extraordinary at something.

But I have got to try and try I will.

-SK

A million tiny dreams ☺️

I want to star-gaze at the night sky - with you!

I want to see sunrises and sunsets on the horizon - with you!

I want to soar the skies above the clouds - with you!

I want to dive deep into the blue waters of the oceans - with you!

I want to dare the waters of speedy rivers - with you!

I want to feel the naughty cold breeze across my face - with you!

I want to jump and dance in the rain - with you!

I want to cuddle cozily in a warm blanket on a cold snowy day- with you!

Denial!

Is denial so powerful?
Love deprivation from childhood, rejections and no admiration/ acknowledgement / respect for someone’s being - I think all that teaches a person not to love oneself.

Since I was always an insignificant, immaterial, irrelevant, invisible being, for acceptance by others, I did not know a better way than to work hard. I wanted to be respected, my being acknowledged.

Years of toiling did not earn me what I yearned for. I started not working so hard? Or taking anything I achieved through hard work for granted? Those hard earned achievements also have slowly faded away over the years. I don’t know what I have been living for. I am looking for answers, some sort of explanation. I don’t know where to look. I feel trapped here. I am suffocating. I want this pain to end.